Respectful parenting- how to say NO

I always cringe when I hear a parent proudly proclaim that they are 'friends' with their child. I wonder what they think this means. You are not one of your child's peers; you probably don't share their interests, or at least not at the same level; you are almost certainly not stimulated intellectually or emotionally by the same things. To strive to be your child's friend is fraught with danger.

 

The truth is that children really don't WANT you to be a friend in that way. Your child needs you to be a parent, even when they might be screaming to the rafters that they hate you for some boundary you've set. Children without boundaries are scared children, and one of those boundaries needs to be around you; teenage children whose parents are intent on being their 'buddy' will learn how to manipulate that relationship very quickly, and will resent you trampling on their territory to boot.

The challenge of gifted children in preschool settings

(This is an article I wrote for an online childcare site to help preschool teachers- but it has much in it to help you identify and cope with a gifted child too. Let me know in the comments if you'd like a copy with the footnotes and references. -Aunt Annie)

Gifted children, those who have advanced intellectual development beyond their years, generally 'draw the short straw' in our schools. There is plenty of information around about the integration of special needs children into our early childhood classrooms, but when I talk to early childhood teachers (and for that matter, to many parents) about catering for gifted and talented children, I find that most people question the need for any special program- and I am sometimes met with open hostility. Gifted children, I'm told, will be okay; they don't need help from us. They'll manage because they're clever. We should focus funding and attention on those who can't keep up.

Perhaps you agree. But gifted children have special needs of their own, and if those needs are ignored, they (and everyone associated with them) will have a hard time.