Oh, the joys of a baby who wakes every hour, a child who won't go to bed or won't sleep once he gets there, and a teenager who has to be prised out of bed with a crowbar every morning. Your child's sleep patterns can be one of the most soul-destroying parts of parenthood.
I was sleep-deprived for about six years after I had my son. He came out of the labour ward with his eyes open, and from that moment on he needed less sleep than I did (and complained vigorously and ear-splittingly the moment I tried to put him to bed to snatch a moment's rest myself). So as you prop your eyelids up with matchsticks to read this column, rest assured that I Feel Your Pain.
How did I cope with a child who didn't need to sleep much? (Yes, I'm still here, and some even think I'm still relatively sane.)
