There's this crazy belief still doing the rounds that women can 'have it all'- the family, the job, the fabulous social life whilst still doing Nigella Lawson impressions every night in the kitchen- and this is the key to happiness.
What rubbish. Admit it, go on! We are NOT Wonderwoman! Parenting is a full-time job. A full-time job is also a full-time job. Housekeeping is a full-time job. Somewhere in there we have to sleep and have some recreation and exercise. We'd all be just fine if there were 72 hours in a day.
We need help to stay resilient for our children, we need support systems, and we probably hope or even expect that our first lifeline will come from our children's dad. But you know, we can be our own worst enemies when it comes to accepting support from our partner.
Advice and observations from a qualified carer and educator to help parents and childcare professionals maintain a loving, respectful relationship with their children.
Showing posts with label please and thank you. Show all posts
Showing posts with label please and thank you. Show all posts
Friday, January 6, 2012
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Are our kids getting ruder?
My mother had an amazing ability to freeze the atmosphere instantly when she disapproved of something. Heaven help me if I should fail to say please, thank you or excuse me; she never needed to punish me for such omissions, because my fear of that Kelvinator look was enough to jog my memory before I opened my mouth.
Add to that the fact that she always demonstrated perfect manners herself, and there was never any question that her children would grow up to be ill-mannered little thugs. She was an awesome mother, and I was hell-bent on pleasing her.
Perhaps my upbringing wasn't completely typical, but I do know that back then, both my teachers and my friends' parents had a low tolerance for other people's children who forgot their manners. And they didn't sit and stew, either- they had no hesitation in correcting such children quite firmly.
Have things really changed so much these days? Why are parents and teachers complaining about children's manners, or lack thereof? And why do parents feel less free to correct or comment on other people's children when they behave appallingly?
Maybe it's as simple as the constant stress of being a working parent, being all things to all people, torn in too many directions at once. We forget to teach manners, or just don't have time. Maybe our own manners have been swept away by the 21st century's pace and problems.
And maybe we're too scared of the prospect of conflict with other parents to open our mouths when someone else's child is rude; certainly there seems to be a much greater range in parenting styles than was once the case, and convictions about parenting are deeply held and defended.
Anyway, let's be proactive- what can we do to make sure our own children have good manners, and how can we encourage other people's children to treat us with respect too?
Add to that the fact that she always demonstrated perfect manners herself, and there was never any question that her children would grow up to be ill-mannered little thugs. She was an awesome mother, and I was hell-bent on pleasing her.
Perhaps my upbringing wasn't completely typical, but I do know that back then, both my teachers and my friends' parents had a low tolerance for other people's children who forgot their manners. And they didn't sit and stew, either- they had no hesitation in correcting such children quite firmly.
Have things really changed so much these days? Why are parents and teachers complaining about children's manners, or lack thereof? And why do parents feel less free to correct or comment on other people's children when they behave appallingly?
Maybe it's as simple as the constant stress of being a working parent, being all things to all people, torn in too many directions at once. We forget to teach manners, or just don't have time. Maybe our own manners have been swept away by the 21st century's pace and problems.
And maybe we're too scared of the prospect of conflict with other parents to open our mouths when someone else's child is rude; certainly there seems to be a much greater range in parenting styles than was once the case, and convictions about parenting are deeply held and defended.
Anyway, let's be proactive- what can we do to make sure our own children have good manners, and how can we encourage other people's children to treat us with respect too?
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