It's easy to forget that those little eyes are always watching us. It's even easier to forget that those little ears are always listening to us- especially when children get to the age where they seem to develop selective hearing. (Believe me, selective deafness is about lack of response, not lack of hearing.)
Because I work as a casual at the moment, I've been quite transient in my contact with some groups of children. This can be a challenge for the children, for the regular staff and for me. And it also opens up some huge holes in the role modelling by the adults involved in the childcare equation. Often, adults are downright rude to each other in full view of the children; all that time spent telling the children to be kind to their friends (hmm, you can read what I think about that use of the word 'friends' here), and yet they themselves sometimes treat the other human beings around them with blatant disregard for their feelings and rights.
It seems to me that many of my reflections about those 'holes' also apply to parenting; the way our children's primary carers behave in front of them is crucial to their future behaviour and attitudes. So let's have a look at a few aspects of adult behaviours, through the eyes of the children.
Advice and observations from a qualified carer and educator to help parents and childcare professionals maintain a loving, respectful relationship with their children.
Showing posts with label manners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manners. Show all posts
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Are our kids getting ruder?
My mother had an amazing ability to freeze the atmosphere instantly when she disapproved of something. Heaven help me if I should fail to say please, thank you or excuse me; she never needed to punish me for such omissions, because my fear of that Kelvinator look was enough to jog my memory before I opened my mouth.
Add to that the fact that she always demonstrated perfect manners herself, and there was never any question that her children would grow up to be ill-mannered little thugs. She was an awesome mother, and I was hell-bent on pleasing her.
Perhaps my upbringing wasn't completely typical, but I do know that back then, both my teachers and my friends' parents had a low tolerance for other people's children who forgot their manners. And they didn't sit and stew, either- they had no hesitation in correcting such children quite firmly.
Have things really changed so much these days? Why are parents and teachers complaining about children's manners, or lack thereof? And why do parents feel less free to correct or comment on other people's children when they behave appallingly?
Maybe it's as simple as the constant stress of being a working parent, being all things to all people, torn in too many directions at once. We forget to teach manners, or just don't have time. Maybe our own manners have been swept away by the 21st century's pace and problems.
And maybe we're too scared of the prospect of conflict with other parents to open our mouths when someone else's child is rude; certainly there seems to be a much greater range in parenting styles than was once the case, and convictions about parenting are deeply held and defended.
Anyway, let's be proactive- what can we do to make sure our own children have good manners, and how can we encourage other people's children to treat us with respect too?
Add to that the fact that she always demonstrated perfect manners herself, and there was never any question that her children would grow up to be ill-mannered little thugs. She was an awesome mother, and I was hell-bent on pleasing her.
Perhaps my upbringing wasn't completely typical, but I do know that back then, both my teachers and my friends' parents had a low tolerance for other people's children who forgot their manners. And they didn't sit and stew, either- they had no hesitation in correcting such children quite firmly.
Have things really changed so much these days? Why are parents and teachers complaining about children's manners, or lack thereof? And why do parents feel less free to correct or comment on other people's children when they behave appallingly?
Maybe it's as simple as the constant stress of being a working parent, being all things to all people, torn in too many directions at once. We forget to teach manners, or just don't have time. Maybe our own manners have been swept away by the 21st century's pace and problems.
And maybe we're too scared of the prospect of conflict with other parents to open our mouths when someone else's child is rude; certainly there seems to be a much greater range in parenting styles than was once the case, and convictions about parenting are deeply held and defended.
Anyway, let's be proactive- what can we do to make sure our own children have good manners, and how can we encourage other people's children to treat us with respect too?
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