Prejudice against gifted kids, pressure on carers: the dangers of dumbing down your communication

There are many moments when I despair for our children's welfare at the hands of carers who genuinely  think they're doing the right thing.

Carers who do actually care- rather than just turning up, taking their money and going home- tend to be passionate people.  Sadly, thanks to the appalling wages offered in child care, they're not always particularly well-educated or widely experienced people.  Passion and selective ignorance can be a volatile combination- a little knowledge is indeed a dangerous thing.

I came across just such a combination this week, and I can see that I'm going to have a hard time explaining to at least one group of passionate (but narrowly experienced and educated) carers that they're about to do a grave disservice to the bright and gifted children in their room.  It's unintentional prejudice, but it's prejudice just the same.

So what's this thing called parenthood, anyway?

Before you start reading my advice and comments on how to deal with your kids, you really need to know a bit about my philosophy of parenthood, because that's crucial to the way I think. You'll need to wear the same hat to get the same results.

To me, parenthood is a gradual process of letting go. It's also a fascinating observational and interactive experience, much more hypnotic than any computer game. Watching a child's personality unfold in a safe (but not TOO safe) environment, and giving a gentle nudge in another direction when the train threatens to leave the rails, is hugely interesting to me. Placing the STOP signs in a way that will ensure they're noticed and not resented too much is also a great challenge. The greatest challenge of all is dealing with the fact that they're not you- they're themselves. They won't think exactly the same, or behave exactly the same, or necessarily want the same things from life. LET GO! and watch, and wonder... and see if you can work out how to help them become who they are.