Lately I've been doing a bit of 'homework' on Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), as I'm working with some children who've been diagnosed with a variety of conditions within that range.
One piece of advice that stood out was that when children with Asperger's Syndrome show extreme distress over some seemingly small and unimportant matter, their concern should be taken seriously- even if acting on it seems silly to you- as their anxiety is real and is based on actual physical or psychological discomfort. Yes, it can physically hurt when they are forced to look you in the eye. Yes, a change in their routine can cause extreme anxiety. And so forth.
Yesterday I used this information to deal with a little girl's meltdown over a small dirty mark on her clothes. 'Bree' had tried to remove the mark by wetting half her sleeve on a freezing cold morning, and another carer had immediately sent her inside to change- at which point the hysterical crying, screaming and thrashing started. I was handed a package of loud and violent 4-year-old misery to deal with, complete with stern directions to make her put on a dry top.
Yes, Bree has Asperger's. But as I wrestled with her specific issue using my new-found knowledge, I started wondering if this way of coping with a small child's distress was really so ASD-specific, or whether it might be useful to keep in mind for all children who seem to be making a mountain out of a molehill.
This is not to downgrade the relevance and importance of the information to the welfare of children with ASD- not at all- but I found much wisdom in the advice which could be transferred to general parenting and benefit all children.
Has your child ever had a ridiculous tantrum over, say, a minor clothing issue, or the fact that you broke their block building, or an item they aren't allowed to take with them when you go out, or some other seeming non-issue (to adults)? How did you deal with it?
Let's do a bit of a breakdown of Bree's problem and see if we can use an ASD strategy to help us deal with out-of-control neurotypical children too.
