Parenting without slavery: how not to be your child's servant

I have to admit that I can be a bit of a perfectionist at times.  My friends have been known to crack jokes about my OCD- which wouldn't be funny at all if I had full-blown OCD, of course, but which are probably inevitable given that I compulsively over-categorise things, to the point of hanging out my washing and organising my home bookshelves in rainbow colour order.

Stop laughing. NOW.

Truly, I'm one of those people who likes all the Duplo to be in the Duplo box when we pack up, not mixed through the Mobilo with the odd coloured pencil thrown in.  An astrologer would say I'm a 'typical Libran'.  I hate housework, but if I HAVE to do it, then things are going to look BEAUTIFUL once I've finished.

And that makes me a perfect candidate to become a slave to little children.   

I've had to learn how to let go.  I know I don't really have OCD, because I don't constantly try to control every aspect of my surroundings (no, you can NOT eat off my floor- bleaugh!)- and I've been able to teach myself to STOP doing it when it's not a priority.  But sometimes it's still a struggle. 

And I can see now how my need for a certain type of order led to grief for my child, who really never had a chance to learn to do this stuff for himself in a way that didn't become a drama.  His resistance to my attempts to get him to do things my way just exaggerated his natural obstinacy, and encouraged his determination to turn it around and be the one in control of the situation.

Three things I wish my parents had taught me...

Time for a little light relief, I think! 

I'm sure I'm not alone if I say that there are things I've learned the hard way in life which I would rather have been warned about in advance.  My parents valued school and environmental education, but perhaps they didn't pass on a lot of the basic life skills I needed.  Here are just a few of the things I think all parents would be wise to teach their children.

How to stop kids whining

Is there anything at all a parent can do to stop a child whining?

I have to admit that it's one of my pet hates, and one of the characteristics that I find hardest to deal with as a teacher and carer, because it's almost impossible to use my own strategy when I'm responsible for a large group in a classroom. Thank heavens my own child didn't have this problem! I might have gone completely mad.

There are certainly a few things we can do in the long term to discourage children from whining when they don't get what they want.