Quite a while ago, I wrote a post about the 7 deadly sins of childcare parenting, from the point of view of carers. It was the product of extreme frustration!
Today I'm feeling frustrated too, but it's not with the parents. The boot's on the other foot today- I'm reflecting on some of the blatant errors I've seen over and over again from carers.
So here's the balancing post. Here are some things that carers commonly get wrong.
Advice and observations from a qualified carer and educator to help parents and childcare professionals maintain a loving, respectful relationship with their children.
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Toxic Mothers
Lately I've been visiting a few internet parenting forums to see what topics might be of particular interest to my readers here. Of course I've dropped a few comments into the threads along the way, with my usual good intent, and I've been amazed by some of the volatile (and sometimes downright offensive) reactions I've received to some very mildly worded input from me.
It got me thinking about how hard many young (and not-so-young) mothers, especially first-time mums, find it to deal with the Toxic Mother. Maybe it's time to talk about that.
So here's a helpful guide to identifying some of the species of Toxic Mother, which might help you to avoid them. There's no point arguing with them. Steer clear of them.
It got me thinking about how hard many young (and not-so-young) mothers, especially first-time mums, find it to deal with the Toxic Mother. Maybe it's time to talk about that.
So here's a helpful guide to identifying some of the species of Toxic Mother, which might help you to avoid them. There's no point arguing with them. Steer clear of them.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
The myth of the perfect parent/carer
One of the easiest traps I could fall into when writing this blog is to make parenting sound easy.
I am NOT here to make you feel inadequate. Ladies and gents, parenting is NOT easy. And carers, looking after other people's kids is NOT easy. It's full of split-second decisions that you have to make when you're tired, distracted and irritated, when your own relationship with your partner or your self-image or your financial situation might be imploding, when you're surrounded by conflicting 'good advice', ridiculous rules of the centre, myriad unrealistic expectations... it's sometimes like parenting in the jungle, with a hungry tiger in every tree.
Carers are usually trained in everything except what they really need to know- HOW to form a relationship with each member of a disparate group of kids- and parents are no better off. Nobody offers you training in parenting your particular child BEFORE you take the plunge (how could they? -your child will be unique). On the contrary, there's a myth out there that it'll all fall into place due to your natural instincts. After all, we're all here on this planet to reproduce, aren't we? It's natural!
Bollocks to that. 'Natural' my *rse.
Let me give you an example that has stuck in my brain for the last 26 years.
I am NOT here to make you feel inadequate. Ladies and gents, parenting is NOT easy. And carers, looking after other people's kids is NOT easy. It's full of split-second decisions that you have to make when you're tired, distracted and irritated, when your own relationship with your partner or your self-image or your financial situation might be imploding, when you're surrounded by conflicting 'good advice', ridiculous rules of the centre, myriad unrealistic expectations... it's sometimes like parenting in the jungle, with a hungry tiger in every tree.
Carers are usually trained in everything except what they really need to know- HOW to form a relationship with each member of a disparate group of kids- and parents are no better off. Nobody offers you training in parenting your particular child BEFORE you take the plunge (how could they? -your child will be unique). On the contrary, there's a myth out there that it'll all fall into place due to your natural instincts. After all, we're all here on this planet to reproduce, aren't we? It's natural!
Bollocks to that. 'Natural' my *rse.
Let me give you an example that has stuck in my brain for the last 26 years.
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