When your daughter thinks she's fat

I'm guessing a lot of you have read this post, which has been circulating on facebook: 

http://www.rachelsimmons.com/2012/01/mom-im-fat-one-mothers-inspired-response-to-her-7-year-old/ 

I read it too, and I've been mulling over the issue of little girls thinking they're 'fat' (!) ever since. That mum ended up dancing proudly naked in front of the mirror with her daughter (and good on her!!). But maybe that's not what's going to help everyone. (Personally, I'm just not the dancing-naked type.)

So what else can we do when our daughter gets attacked by the fat police before she's even in her teens? What do we do when a little girl in our care declares sadly "I'm fat!"?

Reaping the rewards of risk

As I mentioned recently on my Facebook page, I'm in the throes of a major uni assignment on risky play. I have to admit that I'm loving the uni work- not so much because of the course itself (in fact the restrictions of writing in an academic rather than a creative style sometimes drive me a bit nutty), but because of the things it's prompting me to do with the kids.

I chose the topic, 'risky play', myself.  I've got a passion for listening to what the kids want and trying to respond. And in one of my workplaces- my favourite one- risk is on the kids' agenda almost every moment of every day. If they're not trying to climb the fence and escape like Violet, they're on the roof of the shed, or up a tree, or playing Kung Fu Panda games, or crashing the bikes into one another and sprawling on the concrete pretending to be in need of an ambulance.

It's a high-energy demographic, and I love it- kids being kids, fearless and gutsy, the way it used to be in the days when parents and carers weren't so damn precious.  When the media hadn't scared the heck out of everyone by publicising and inflating every sad accident, so we'd assume the world was suddenly a more dangerous place than before.  When the lawyers hadn't encouraged everyone to play the blame game for money.

I suppose it's a bit like stepping back in time.  To me, these kids feel real. They're like the kids from my own childhood, fifty-odd years ago.

Food failings and fussy eaters

Do you worry constantly about your weight? Do you automatically label some foods as 'bad' or 'good'? Do you reward yourself with food and then punish yourself by dieting? Do you eat when you're not hungry, just because it's mealtime? Do you overeat and then diet? Do you eat junk food and takeaways most of the time? Does this sound like an ad for Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig? 

Companies like that succeed because many, many women (and increasing numbers of men) answer yes to most of those questions without hesitation. 

What does that have to do with childcare?  Sadly, we also manage (albeit unconsciously) to teach our children these destructive behaviours- we pass on our attitudes to food as surely as we pass on our moral standards, political leanings and prejudices, by modelling them to our kids.  And childcare workers are just as guilty of this as mothers.